A Gentle, Nurturing Guide to Understanding Children Who Bite

Biting can be one of the hardest behaviours for parents to hear about. It can trigger worry, guilt, embarrassment, or even fear that something might be “wrong”.

But please hold this close:

Biting is a normal stage of early childhood.

It does not define your child, and it does not reflect your parenting.

Children bite because they are still learning. Learning emotions, learning communication, learning control. And just like learning to walk, it’s a journey of little wobbles before steady steps.

This guide offers a soft, nurturing space to understand what’s happening — and how you and we can gently support them through it.

Why Children Bite: Seeing It Through Their Eyes

Biting is rarely intentional harm. It is communication from a child who is still finding their way in the world.

Children may bite when they:

• feel overwhelmed or overstimulated

• can’t find the words they need

• are teething or seeking sensory relief

• are frustrated in a busy moment

• act impulsively without understanding the impact

It helps to think of biting not as “misbehaviour”, but as a sign:

“I need help. I don’t know how to say it yet.”

When we view biting through a lens of compassion, it becomes easier to respond calmly and lovingly.

How Nurseries Support Children with Tenderness and Care

Nurseries are caring, nurturing environments and the staff know biting can happen even in the gentlest of settings. When it does, their response is warm, calm, and supportive.

They will:

• comfort the child who has been bitten

• gently soothe and guide the child who bit, without blaming or shaming

• watch for patterns to understand what the child is finding difficult

• help children use simple words, gestures or adult help instead of biting

Nursery teams work slowly and quietly to teach children kinder ways to express themselves. The focus is always on emotional connection and growth.

Gentle Ways Parents Can Support at Home

Here are nurturing, heart-centered approaches you can use to help your little one feel safe, calm, and understood.

1. Stay Soft and Steady

Your calmness becomes your child’s calmness.

A gentle voice and steady presence show them they are safe, even when they’re struggling.

2. Use Warm, Simple Phrases

Short, loving messages help children understand without feeling shame:

• “I’m here to help.”

• “Biting hurts. Let’s use gentle mouths.”

• “If you feel upset, you can come to me.”

Consistency and kindness go a long way.

3. Offer Safe Things to Bite

For children who seek sensory relief, try:

• chilled teething toys

• silicone chew necklaces

• crunchy foods like breadsticks or apple slices

You’re not stopping the need — you’re redirecting it in a safe, comforting way.

4. Notice the Good Moments

Every day brings small signs of growth. Celebrate them:

• sharing

• gentle touches

• trying to use words

• playing kindly with others

Warm encouragement builds confidence and emotional understanding.

5. Look for Triggers with Kind Curiosity

Is your child hungry? tired? overstimulated?

Observing without judgement helps you anticipate moments when your child might struggle.

6. Practice Emotional Language Together

Help your child name their feelings with simple words:

• “happy”

• “sad”

• “cross”

• “worried”

• “excited”

The more they can express, the less they rely on biting.

A Partnership of Care: Home and Nursery Together

When parents and nursery staff work side by side, children feel safely held by the adults around them. Share what’s happening at home, and ask what staff are noticing at nursery.

Together, you can gently guide your child through this stage with:

• patience

• consistency

• connection

• a shared understanding of what your child needs

Children thrive when they feel surrounded by calm, loving support.

A Loving Reminder for Every Parent

If your child is biting, please remember:

You are not alone.

You are not at fault.

Your child is not “naughty”.

This stage is temporary.

Your child is learning, growing, and trying — even if it doesn’t always look like it. With soft guidance, gentle boundaries, and a team around them who care deeply, they will move past this phase in their own time.

And through it all, your steady presence is the most powerful comfort they have.